No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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