it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I still have a little drunk in my system
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
