What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
