Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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