Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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