There was a lot of him and a little penis
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize