then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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