Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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