When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
