At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
