Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
