that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
