What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize