I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
