I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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