i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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