I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
