I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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