oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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