Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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