I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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