He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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