Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He felt like a one man threesome
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
