He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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