i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
one might say we're banned from that church
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
