you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
