I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
