On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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