His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
