Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
