there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
