pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
