So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
