She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
