If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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