Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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