Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
