garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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