Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
