dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
