people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
