If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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