I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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