somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude. I can hear the air.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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