He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
