You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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