I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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