so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Are we still banned from the library?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
