I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
