My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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