Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Randomize
