Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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