So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
