butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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