Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
