i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm at about main and main street
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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