Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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