It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize