I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
