Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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