some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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