dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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