she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
