I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
