Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
