I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
