hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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