no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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