absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
