I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
