but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
