If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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